Like a good little comic book fan, this past weekend I dragged my arse through the freezing cold to the local multiplex to sacrifice my hard-earned $10 to the movie gods in honor of Ghost Rider. Unfortunately it seems the gods are pissed at me because, and it breaks my heart to say this, Ghost Rider is one of the worst pieces of cinematic sh*t EVER MADE.
If you're a fan of mine and you've read my previous post -- and I know all seven of you have -- then you know that I held on to the hope that, somehow, director Mark Steven Johnson wouldn't give us another Daredevil. Well, my friends, he didn't give us another Daredevil... he gave us something much, much worse. The disaster can only be explained as such: Of the reported $120 million spent on the film, $119,999,831 was spent paying an acting coach to teach all the actors how NOT to act, $92 on Nic Cage's hairpiece, and the remaining $77 on three monkeys and a typewriter. The CGI was donated free of charge by Miss Anderson's third-grade art class.
In fact, there are only 5 things in the universe worse than this movie:
1. Watching the first (and only) season of Mr. Personality. Repeatedly. WITH Monica Lewinsky.
Damn you, M.S.J. Damn you to hell.