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How real is TOO real?

Under normal circumstances I'd use this little slice of the internet pie to throw down an inarticulate rambling about video games or pop culture. However, today something new crossed my path. Specifically, this: Columbine at Slamdance, and because I'm the "video games guy" in my posse (yeah, I just used the word "posse," and I promise it will never happen again) my friend Jonathon, an aspiring filmmaker and a student at Columbine during the time of this tragedy, sent me the link and posed this question to me: "Are video games becoming too real?" Now, my answer to him will be long and involved and boring so I'll spare ya the details, but I would like to know what my faithful readers (all seven of you) think... so send a comment or two my way and let's share a moment.

And for those of you interested in seeing what all the fuss is about, here's the link to the game itself: Super Columbine Massacre RPG. But approach with caution my friends, because it ain't for the faint of heart.

Can't leave you on a downer, so this should put a smile in your heart:

The Free Clinic (Of Video Games)

"We use computers...to make video games!" the Web site for Videlectrix reads.

Anyway, you should probably visit the Videlectrix site, if only to check out the Vii-specific games which, in reality, have been formatted for the Nintendo Wii. You'll have ever so much fun playing titles like Secret Collect, Population: Tire, and Kid Speedy.

And yes, Videlectrix is done by the same folks who do the wonderful Strongbad cartoons on Homestar Runner.

Developmentally Disabled

In a former life, I worked for Christopher Charla. He was a nice man, and a very good editor. I rooted for him when he left game journalism and went off into the world of game development, and was saddened by the fact he named his child Oscar, instead of Dig-Dug like he'd threatened.

Charla has made some very good games in his time at Digital Eclipse/Backbone Entertainment. All of them, simply, pale in comparison to this masterwork of video production.

By the by, Charla's the manipulating the action figure and doing the voiceover work.

 

Shaq-Fu and the Art of Capturing Baddies

Much has been said about the realism present in today's video games. The line between fantasy and reality has become increasingly blurred, as evidenced by the graphics in Gears of War or the artificial intelligence of Far Cry or the full-on government support of the America's Army franchise. Yes, my friends, a new day is upon us. Now, I'm not saying I don't agree that this is all happening right now, but I propose that this Total Recall-like merger of what is real and what is not started long ago. Like, 1994 long ago. Because without the real world crime-fighting knowledge he surely learned by protecting the universe from the evil Sett Ra in Shaq-Fu, how could Shaquille O'Neal have possibly done this? Shaquille O'Neal: To Serve and Protect.

 

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Last night I took a plane flight.  A very LONG plane flight. The kind of plane flight where you run out of things to do regardless of how much time was spent planning ahead to avoid RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO DO. My Boredom Alleviation Kit included: The new issue of EGM that I'd purposefully held out on reading because I wanted to save it for the flight , Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops, six episodes of The Office on my laptop, yesterday's new crop of comic books, and to top it all off, I was looking forward to a kiss from the pretty little lady picking me up from the airport (and no, that's not code for anything. I really did have a pretty little lady picking me up from the airport). Yep, folks.  I had this thing in the bag. And then, disaster struck. 

The plane was stuck on the runway for what seemed like an entire presidential term, so by the time we actually took off, the EGM was just a fading memory. The idiot side of my brain that controls my responsibility level forgot to charge my PSP battery so I spent a painfully short  7 minutes with Snake and Co. Fortunately, my laptop was fully charged, so Michael and Dwight and Jim were able to keep me entertained for a few hours, and this week's comics ROCKED( John Woo's Seven Brothers just keeps getting better and better). However, after all those distractions, I was still left with 3 hours to kill, and since I don't have many extra brain cells sitting around waiting to be wasted--which meant watching the Ashton Kutcher instant comedy classic The Guardian was out of the question--I sat back and thought.  I'll spare you the detailed travelogue of my little trébucher au cerveau de Blair, mainly because most of it was disappointingly uninteresting and completely devoid of any sign of intelligence. But I will share this with you: I thought a bit about flying, and that got me thinking about games that involve flying.  And that got me thinking about my FAVORITE flying game...

Wii Don't Like The Games So Much

Okay, so the headline for this entry is horribly misleading, so much so I expect to be overcome with grief and not, say, able to finish a third bowl of Cookie Crisp.

But if you ever wanted proof that Nintendo is out to lure more than just video game fans with its new console, here it is. The Associated Press will be providing news for a new Wii News Channel which can be accessed, of course, through the Wii's dashboard interface. The news channel debuts Saturday.

Now it seems odd that people might use the Wii for their daily news, especially when they can just turn on CNN, or use a dedicated reporting site on the Internet (which can also be accessed via the Wii), but hey!  I thought it was kind of odd for Nintendo to name a game console after the sound I make going down a rollercoaster or, to be a bit more blunt, a bodily function I like to avail myself of now and again.

 

Pope: It Ain't Dope (Video Games)

The Bishop of Rome, aka The Pontiff, aka The Pope has just spoken out about video games.

Benedict XVI issued a release today that said, "Any trend to produce programs and products – including animated films and video games – which in the name of entertainment exalt violence and portray anti-social behavior or the trivialization of human sexuality is a perversion, all the more repulsive when these programs are directed at children and adolescents.”

The message was released for World Communications Day, and urged people to not, for god's sake, pick up the BFG and frag their fellow man.

Rode the 300

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to play it on their PSPs.

Frank Miller's epic comic 300, based loosely on the battle of Thermopylae, has been made into a movie and video game.

The game, as done by Eidos and Warner Bros. Interactive, is nearing completion. Which means, as you know, bad news for the Persians.

And check out the cool, gory trailer after the jump...

BUY THIS GAME: Video Game Pitches

Is it just me, or are video game ads are EVERYWHERE?!?!  In magazines and stuck to the sides of buses and on billboards in Times Square. Gone are the days of having to flip to page 93 of EGM to see an ad of a  hastily hand-rendered little blue man shooting robots ordering you to buy Mega Man 984,572X.  Nowadays, I can't even watch a movie without first seeing the new Gears of War trailer soulfully narrated by a Tears For Fears song (which FREAKIN' ROCKED! by the way).

But I don't want to give off the vibe that I'm complaining, because I'm not.  I love the fact that there are so many kick-ass games out there that publishers have to FIGHT in order for us to check out their wares. I'm just saying, sometimes I miss the subtle, poignant sales pitches of yesteryear.  That's why I'm giving you this: Exciting Video Game Pitch. Just do me a favor and listen all the way through. I don't know where (or why) things go wrong, but when they do it's....memorable.

Also, I did want to leave you with this: A PHOTOGRAPH COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO MY POST!

Oh Saaay, Can You Seeeee!

My fellow Americans. I stand here before you today a changed man.  An enlightened man.  A hopeful

man. 

On January 17th, President Bush delivered his State of the Union Address.  And, like any gosh-darn, yee-haw, red-blooded American, it made me think about our country and the way things are, and the way things should be. After nearly a week of contemplation and soul-searching, I've come to what I believe is a very rational, adult conclusion: America should be run by Mario. And here's why:

1. Instead of folding under the crushing pressure of every Italian-American stereotype ever created, Mario chose to fight his way through adversity and judgment, and has earned the respect and adoration of all of gamingdom. (Yeah, I made that word up. It's my blog. I can do that sort of thing.)  The world's opinion of us gamers ain't all that swell at the moment. Mario would change that.

2.  The dude has an seemingly unlimited supply of gold coins. Goodbye, national deficit. We won't miss you.

3.  Homeboy keeps his kingdom in order. Every time some wanna-be gangster with a spiked shell on his back shows up looking for trouble, Mario gnaws on a few fireball-endowing flowers and handles business. No Air Force. No Army. No Navy. No Marines. Just that angry little plumber and a ton of butt-bounces. Think about all the money we'd save in military costs.

4.  He's got a sweet-ass 'stache and he always gets the girl.  'Nuff said.

I think it's pretty clear: Mario for President in 2008!